Jack's Education

Jack at Warwick Castle earlier in the year. He has shot up in height since then!

Jack's education has been largely led by his personality. At age three he was clamouring for 'work' to do, just like his older sister, and I have tried to provide him with exactly what he needs when he's needed it.

He's pretty intelligent and a fast learner. He learned to read at age 4 using the Beginner's Bible. He set himself the goal of reading the whole book. At first, I had to help him with every other word, but after a few weeks of persistence, he was figuring words out for himself and by the end of the book he was reading fluently. Of course, at the same time, I'd been doing some phonics with him and learning a few sight words. But it was basically his determination, interest and persistence which drove the process of learning to read.

And that set the pattern for all of his learning since then. There have been ups and downs though. Sometimes, his personality has been a hindrance to his learning. He can be sloppy/ slapdash, with a 'that's good enough' attitude. He can be stubborn about not needing to do something I believe he does need to do. He has been reluctant to admit his mistakes at times and far, far too competitive with his academically-challenged older sister.

But I have a theory about personality and adolescence. Stand by! Here it comes! I believe that early adolescence is a crucial time in the development of people's personalities. As children, we all have the raw personalities that God has blessed us with. Sometimes we parents can be distinctly unimpressed with those blessings. Stubbornness in a 3 year old is rarely appreciated. LOL! We don't tend to pray, 'Thank you God, for my son's extreme stubbornness!' In fact, we often ask God to moderate those sorts of characteristics, or take them away altogether! In extreme cases, parents will even think they are doing God's Will in trying to 'break' their children's stubborn spirit.

But this seems wrong to me,because during adolescence something miraculous happens. The raw, God-given, characteristic is refined or resolved into something a little different. It can go one of two ways:

If the child has been carefully guided by their parents and drawn into relationship with their loving Father and is developing an authentic personal faith then their 'stubbornness' characteristic is miraculously modulated into PERSISTENCE! And we like persistence!

However, this is also the time when something else can happen. If the child does not have a real faith and the parents have exasperated the child trying to stamp out the raw, God-given characteristic, then that personality trait can be grossly twisted during adolescence into rigid 'pig-headedness'. Which we don't like. It becomes a horrible caricature of God's perfect plan for our personality. God's plan for a persistent personality which He can USE has been thwarted!

In my own family of origin, I saw my parents try to eradicate our personalities so that we could become merely obedient vessels. And during the years I spent teaching age 11-18 year olds, I witnessed the transformation of hundreds (possibly thousands) of children into adults, so I am pretty confident about this theory!

This is not to say that people can't change their personality in later years. Oh no! Becoming a christian 10 years ago was the start of a personality change which is and will be forever ongoing in me! That's the transformational power of God's love for you. But it is so much easier to change when we are young and still growing.

This miraculous transformation has been occurring in Jack over the last few months. The child who used to try to get out of his work, or do the least possible so that he could get out and play, has turned into a young man who sets his own goals and drives forward needing little outside encouragement.

I see all those raw characteristics transforming now. I also see how this is impacting his education and how little I am needed now in terms of that. He wants to do God's work (he wants above all else to work in Africa as a missionary) and he realises that God needs him well-educated, so he has taken control, at last of his education, is setting high goals and using his persistence to achieve them.

I think my main role now for the next few years will be a light touch on the tiller. Jamie will need to have an even greater role to play in teaching him how to be a man. (I just can't do that! LOL!) And we both have to try to find the money for other resources or teachers who will help him on his way.

It's been an exciting 13 years with Jack in the house. I hope we have him here for at least another 5 before he heads off for Africa!