I know, I know. I'm already decrepit. Just check out the Decrepitude Chronicles here at this blog for convincing proof! LOL! But I mean, when do I actually get to call myself old?
Let me tell you why I want to know.
Recently, I've been on the receiving end of some rather hurtful remarks from older women. On one or two occasions they felt free to make these stinging comments the FIRST time I'd met them! Other times, they'd made them after I had tried particularly hard to show kindness and understanding to them and worked to make their lives easier, out of respect for their age. My attempts to bless them were met with discouraging, dismissive or cutting responses. Here's an example of the mildest of these encounters:
Me: Hello (name)! How are you today? We missed you at church last week. Have you been unwell?'
Old Lady: Oh it's you. I just have to tell you something, When you first came to this church, I didn't like you or your family. But then I prayed to God to change my attitude and now I don't mind you.'
Me (smiling):.......(pause)........God is good, isn't he?
Not all the recent stinging comments have been at church. Sometimes, they've been random encounters in shops or other places. I'm just wondering at what point do I get to be as rude as these women have been to me (and my children) with impunity. It's clearly not 50 because I've passed that mark and I know I wouldn't get away with it. Maybe at age 60? Or maybe it's 70 when I will be able to barge into people's lives and run them over with my metaphorical mobility scooter, shouting back at my victim, 'I'm old, you know!'
When do I get old enough to be nasty and people just smile and think, 'Oh well, she's old'?
The truth is - Never.
I never want to get to the point when I think my age delivers me from responsibility for the feelings of others.
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11 comments:
Ouch! Sheesh....
Over on the Sonlight forums I found the perfect response to that but no one has been nasty to me since...
Polite smile and considerate tone of voice is needed and you say, "Oh, did you mean to say that out loud?"
Well I'm delighted to say I've liked you for years and prayed for you and that G*D has indeed changed me and I STILL like you :)
Yes G*D is good.
It's oh so tempting to dream of "that age," isn't it? I've reached the same conclusion as you have...that age will not arrive for me...and when I think of the older women I know the really godly ones that I seek to be like....weren't ones to make those comments either. LOL
Sorry for the sting....Kudos to you for reaching out and good comeback!
I can't give you an exact date, but i can tell you that warning signs include, pushing into queues in shops, completely ignoring children who hold doors open for you, and then having the audacity to complain about 'the young people of today' and forgetting entirely how to say 'excuse me', using instead the technique of coughing and sighing if the person in your way is an adult, and just shoving if they are under 5ft tall.
So if any of those things happen, you can expect the outride rudeness in the face of kindness and civility to show up soon after.
Dorothy,
You had me worried there for a minute want to know when you'd be old enough to be rude. I was relieved that you answered your own question.
Wow - I just don't get this. My mouth dropped open. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. There is no age where this is acceptable IMHO. I LOVED this response from above though..."Polite smile and considerate tone of voice is needed and you say, "Oh, did you mean to say that out loud?"
Sorry to hear you've been on the receiving end of some unkind remarks recently. Anna Raeburn, on her agony aunt programme on Talk Radio some years ago, used to say (in no uncertain terms) that age is never an excuse for rudeness. I intend to live by that. And I love Missus Wookie's retort - I'll try and remember that one!
Elaine
We've had a couple of those in our church over the years. Interestingly, one I won over by sharing a hymnal, the other with a birthday cake. But others haven't been so lucky.
They do die eventually. (Oops, did I say that out loud? ;~)
~Cat
Like you, I pray that age never arrives for me either. We've had some "mean" old grandmas in our lives and we've had a couple of sweet old grandmas... I would much rather be one of the sweet ones!
Maybe I'm becoming cynical, but nothing surprises me anymore, but then I HAVE been run over by one of those 'old' people and their mobility scooter!
Sorry you've had to deal with this Dorothy. I like you and your family and always have! ;-)
I had to laugh at what that old woman said. It' such bad form, it's laughable, like a sitcom. Praying I never get like that in my old age! This hits close to home BTW, we have some nasty old ladies in our family. It's not so funny when they are related though.
There is no shortage of opportunities to carry ones cross these days!
I'm glad that you said never! Maybe we can all agree to wipe out the rudeness and not be like that when we are old! I wonder why some people do feel free to be so rude once they're past a certain age
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