Day 2

It's Day 2 without Jamie, who is sunning himself in Geneva. For work. So he tells me.

I was really anxious and upset just before he left yesterday when I had planned on being so calm and grown-up about it. But it dawned on me that the reason he left the band all those years ago was not because he didn't enjoy performing, or because we didn't like the money it brought in, but because we didn't WANT to be apart for long periods any more. The last time we were away from each other for more than a night or two was when the kids were born. If this job is going to require him to travel more, then he may as well have stayed in the music business and earned a heck of a lot more.

So, although I really didn't want Jamie to leave with the impression that I wasn't going to cope with this week without him, I couldn't keep my emotions under control and he left with mascara stains on his shirt as a memento of how pathetic I am. {sigh}

I woke at 4.00 am panicking about what would happen about Grace's special transport situation today. There are all sorts of problems surrounding it now, much bigger and more intractable and worrying than I first thought. She was stressed about it and her day on the new course which started today which she'll be doing one day a week. In the end, she had a good day. She came home late (it's a very long day for her) but happy that she was able to cope with the work (it's a Level 1 course, so within her ability) met some nice people and bumped into several old friends at lunch time which was a lovely blessing for her.

Several emails and phone calls occurred throughout the day with various Local Authority officials and the upshot of it all is that I will have to drive her myself to the campus she goes to on Thursdays and there seems to be nothing anyone can do about it. So far, it's only the Thursdays, which I could just about cope with. But 4 hours in the car...I just hope the car doesn't break down again this winter. It's getting old and cranky and we can't afford another newer one.

After all the stress of this situation, and Jamie going, in the last few days, I forgot to call my dr for an appointment to discuss my Have I got Endometrial Cancer? question. Yes, that's how things are right now, that this issue has slipped right to the bottom of my list of priorities. So, I called and have an appointment on Wednesday. I could have pushed for an earlier appointment if I'd had any energy left. But I didn't.

I think, this week, that I am being truly tested to see where my breaking point is. It's quite close, actually. We all have our weak points. I'm very well aware of where all mine are.

I need to somehow get through this week until Jamie gets back.