Pain Strengthens Us

I really didn't know how I was going to get through it. There wasn't a moment of the week that I wasn't in severe pain. After the cramping subsided I've had back pain and bad headaches.

I've discovered something about myself this week though. I can do things I didn't think were possible. I didn't think I could lead a congergation to sing thanks to God whilst in serious pain, but I did it on Sunday.

I didn't think I could sit through Grace and Rebecca's duet of HELD at our Life-Songs concert last night, knowing that I have may have lost a baby this week. But I did. And it was beautful and ministered to me and I didn't even cry.

I didn't know I could go several nights with little sleep and then move furniture around and set up sound equipment for the start of the concert and then turn it all back into a school study hall again at the end of the night and not complain. (I usually complain{g})

I didn't know that I could handle a bullying, aggressive taxi-driver on my own and be able to protect my daughter, even though I was still coping with whatever was happening to my body and then get to a hospital appointment by myself.

This was the first time, since we've been married, that Jamie hasn't come with me to a hospital appointment. I tend to get very anxious in hospitals and often have full blown panic attacks. But he couldn't come with me this week and the worst that happened was that I broke down into sobbing in the waiting room. It was a bit embarrassing, but hey, I did it.

I made it through this difficult week of pain, grief, verbal abuse, fear and attack and my faith is intact, my trust in God strengthened. And the best part?

Last night, the Life-Songs team put on the BEST ever concert which was the MOST well attended we've had so far.

Putting it all together, I look back and see that with each concert we have experienced difficulties which have increased in severity. I'm not one for believing that everything bad that happens in your life is a spiritual attack, but the coincidence is too strong to ignore now. The week before a concert, there are troubles to endure. I'm glad it was me facing them, not Jamie or the children.