Grace's Education

Grace with her best friend.

Monday is a boring, stay-at-home day for us usually and we don't have anything exciting to report, so I thought I'd take advantage of that to write about the children's education and how they are doing at the moment. Today, I'll write about Grace and tomorrow, Jack.

As it has gradually dawned on us over the years that Grace has learning challenges, our expectations of her have changed. And after the diagnosis of ASD and detailed report into her intellectual functioning, we, or rather, I was forced into a complete shift. Up to this year, we had been treating her like any other child, expecting a high standard of work from her and using a curriculum and resources which would suit her peer group.

Obviously, she has struggled with that, but the neuropsychologist was extremely impressed with Grace's educational testing results. (As opposed to her brain function and learning capacity or IQ results.) She had expected that these results would match. Low Average/Borderline IQ (or potential) results usually mean low ave/borderline educational results. But Grace's were in the normal or above ave range. This surprised this doctor and she actually told us that she had NEVER come across as teen with Grace's level of disability (ASD, IQ) who was coping so well socially AND functioning at so 'high' a level. Mmmm...she acknowledged that our pulling her out of school at age 5 and giving her intensive individualised instruction from that time must have been the reason she was doing so well. This was very encouraging. Personally, I think there are also two other factors which have played into the results.

There are plenty of studies which show that the higher the expectations (within reasonable bounds) of the teacher, the greater the student's achievements. I think our ignorance of Grace's true 'potential': her IQ, has led to this point we are at now with her- that she is 'functioning at a higher level than she should be.'

Secondly, psychometric testing of people with ASD is notoriously difficult. ASD is a social and language/communication disorder, and testing is in a social context using language as the medium. How can the results consequently not be skewed? So where does this leave us? How useful is this detailed report we have? I'm still trying to figure this out.

We have been given a very poor outlook for Grace's future. I think 'bleak' would not be an overstatement. The first few months after this prognosis was given were extremely difficult. I think it would be fair to say that I spent much of this summer curled up on the sofa (if not actually, then metaphorically) in tears, crying out to the Lord to help us find a way forward.

We still don't have a route map, but we are no longer standing still. I've completely shifted my thinking about what Grace needs to do for the next few years. We will not be considering public exams (the usual route in the UK) for her, but concentrating on life-skills and confidence building and continuing with character and spiritual development. If it seems possible that an exam or two fits in with those goals then we'll consider them. Grace herself wants to do exactly what other girls her age are doing: taking exams, going to local colleges, getting part-time employment, learning to drive, going places independently etc. But she knows deep down that she isn't capable (yet) and her differences cause her distress.

Even though we are focussing on life-skills, I've decided to include her in the aspects of the curriculum which, at first glance, may seem irrelevant to her situation. We were studying the Ancient Greeks when the bombshell exploded this summer and my initial thoughts were, what's the point? Why are we studying Greek architecture and poetry when my daughter can't give change correctly or cross the road safely or even make a cup of tea without scalding herself?

Now, I've realised that despite this disorder, she is human and therefore entitled to experience the full range of human education. Here's an example, I had planned to read Rosemary Sutcliffe's Black Ships Before Troy to the kids. A fabulous rendering of Homer's epic and containing some of the most beautiful language to be found anywhere in Children's Literature in English. I was wondering, What is the point? She won't understand it. How will hearing a legend about a long dead people help her learn to take care of herself?

But that's far too pragmatic an approach to human education! I decided to go ahead and read it to both of them. She may not have followed the ins and outs of the plot (I don't think I did either) but the poetry of the language, the drama, the nobility of the emotions all reached her on a level behind the pragmatic.

And it's had interesting consequences. Grace is currently writing some sort of epic story herself. It is not stunning literature, but she is participating in a great human endeavour: that of creative self-expression.

I'm still learning about autism. I'm still trying to understand my daughter. She is trying to understand the world she inhabits. After 15 long, frustrating years of struggling to parent this child, I finally feel like I can see part of the path ahead for her.

Thank you Father, for illuminating the way for us.