This morning, Grace was expecting a new taxi-driver to take her to college. We have a policy of Jamie going out to accompany her to the car and glaring at any new driver with a 'Mess with my daughter and I'll slit your throat' kind of look. They are all seriously checked out by the police etc before being allowed to take SN students, but it doesn't hurt to have the drivers think Jamie is a deranged thug.{g}
This morning, Grace called out, 'He's here!' I pull Jamie away from the washing up and propel him in the direction of the door.
'Go out and look as though you might punch him on the nose!' I demand. 'But first, for goodness sake take your glasses off. They make you look like you couldn't punch anyone!'
I admit I'm not nice first thing in the morning. Now these glasses. Jamie has had them for 12 years. And they went out of fashion 11 1/2 years ago. They are big and round and make him look like a demented bee. He wears contact lenses most of the time, except first thing in the morning, when he's washing dishes. Yes, we leave the dinner dishes until the morning. But that's a whole other post.
'Please get some new glasses, Jamie,' oft I whine, 'someone might see you wearing those one day.'
'Don't need new ones,' is his unvarying reply.
Back to this morning. I'm pushing him out of the door telling him to take his glasses off because he looks as though he couldn't punch anyone properly with them on. He stumbles down the steps, complaining,
'But I can't see to punch him now. I don't know where he is.'
Grace turns back to us, confused. 'Why do you want to punch my taxi-driver?' Then I notice it's her usual driver anyway.
This is the kind of Marx Brothers episode which so often happens in our house.
By the way, Jamie has never punched anyone in his life. I have, but that's another post.
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11 comments:
LOL, I do love reading your posts!
LOL, me as well. I have a pair of scary morning glasses as well.
I'm waiting for THAT post, lol! Let me guess, was it when you saved the world by ending communism?
LOL! Well at least he wasn't needed this time. Nothing like not being able to see your enemy...lol
What, no picture of Jamie in the glasses? :)
I always enjoy your "demented family episodes"...they are so entertaining.
As for Jamie's glasses, I have these very ugly, big, round glasses that I have had since 1987. I also wear contacts, but do use the glasses before bed and when getting up. I can totally understand Jamie not wanting to get new ones.
I'm glad Jamie has never punched anyone, but can't wait to hear about your fist-a-cuffs.
Well I just bought a new pair of ugly big glasses. Mind you they were rock bottom price and I only intend to use them for reading in bed.
Now.
I want to know who (whom?) you punched and when. Ideally with pictures. Failing that, at the very least a diagram, properly labelled.
Jackie
Hilarious but I must agree - we need photos next time. ;-)
Funny.
Maybe one time he'll be forced outdoors with his "look" and the new driver will be a woman. LOL
Maybe he is hoping his glasses will in fact come back into fashion eventually?
My FIL has some enormous glasses that went out of fashion perhaps 20 years ago! Every time he goes to the eye doctor, one of his children or grandchildren will exclaim, "New glasses! How wonderful! What style will you choose?" To which my FIL will reply, "These frames are still good - I'll just get new lenses."
I cannot keep even the cutest pair of sunglasses for one year. How has my FIL managed to keep these hideous glasses for 20? Too bad he won't leave them on the top of his truck and drive off. :^)
And, no, he doesn't wear contacts most of the time. No saving grace for the ugly glasses.
LOL! That's HILARIOUS! I have 2 old pairs of glasses that I hope to replace one day, but like Jamie, I mostly wear my contacts so I don't really see any need in spending $$ on new ones unless I plan to wear them more than just around the house...
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