Too Much Thinking

Home-education is getting more and more difficult for me.

You'd think it would get easier the older my kids get (and after 11 years of it), but actually it gets harder for me because, of course, *I'm* also getting older. And less nimble. And more slow-witted. And less able to multi-task. Actually, this post should probably go in the Decrepitude Chronicles.{g}

To look at the multi-tasking thing for a moment. When Grace was born 16 years ago, I was quite capable, for example, of carrying her to lull her to sleep, whilst vacuuming and moving furniture with my feet and talking to my husband. I could probably have written out a shopping list at the same time if I'd had an extra hand.

And yet today, when we had friends over for lunch, I found that I couldn't speak intelligently at the same time as dishing up dessert. That was just too much to concentrate on at once. The kids frequently take good advantage of my failing faculties by asking approval for things when I am typing on the computer. They know I will mumble, "Ummmmmmmmmm, what? OK....." Later, I will discover I've just agreed to 50 of Jack's closest friends being invited for dinner or the purchase of a motorcycle.

So, now that the annual round of curriculum deliberations is upon me, I find the thinking I'm having to do is almost painful. After years of going the Charlotte Masony, Living Literature, Sonlighty approach I am being forced to radically re-think the last few years of the kids' education. It's not working any more. Neither Grace or Jack are benefiting from my tried and trusted methods. In fact, they don't seem to enjoy reading any more (What?) and have each told me they are not interested in History so much now. This was a shock to realise and has taken me a long time to accept.

It's as if they only had room for so much Living Literature and History in their brains and now they are just full up. They want to be filled with other things now, things I don't feel so confident about providing. For Jack - Maths and Science and for Grace- Art and Music. I should have spotted their inclinations earlier, I suppose. So add guilt to the shock and confusion.

And now I have to research courses and textbooks and curricula which I've only overheard other people talking about. Most of them I can't actually SEE before purchasing too, which is difficult. I feel a bit like a complete beginner again. Except 11 years ago I had more brain cells and I still had the ability to multi-task.{g}