Compulsory Barbecue

We have to go to a work BBQ today. I wasn't particularly looking forward to it, since the kids and I don't know anyone there particularly. But this morning, I read the email which was sent to all in the office about it and now I'm really dreading it.

Instead of a gracious 'Welcome to our home. We want you all to have fun!' it was a list of rules, beginning with where we aren't allowed to park, that we're not to look behind the Wendy(play) House and ending with what we aren't supposed to wear and how to control our children. My IBS is starting already!

The only way I can cope with this is by making fun of it. Sorry, it's just a well-tested survival mechanism. When I'm nervous, I make jokes. So, I told Jamie we should write a Multiple Choice Quiz to take for everyone to do during the course of the afternoon. I think his boss will be very pleased with his initiative and he should expect a pay rise. What do you think?

1. Where are we not allowed to park?
a) In the driveway
b) In the Close
d) In the road
d) At home

2. Who must we be responsible for?
a) Our grandparents
b) Our guinea pigs
c) Our colleagues
d) Our children

3. Where are we not allowed to go?
a) Under the pool
b) On the roof
c) Behind the Wendy House
d) In the neighbours' bedrooms

4. What are the children not allowed to do in the pool?
a) Have fun
b) Fire up the BBQ
c) Pollute the pool
d) Be baptised

5) What are we not supposed to wear?
a) Ties and posh frocks
b) frog costumes
c) pince-nez
d) powdered wigs

6) How long at we supposed to be responsible for our children?
a) You mean *our* children?
b) Until their first misdemeanor
c) At all times
d) Until I've had my first bottle of wine and then it's every man for himself.

I can't wait.