It's been a funny old week.

I've been so tired I keep bursting into spontaneous tears. Not good for family morale.

Looking back, from a slightly more stable perspective, I can see it's been a few weeks loaded with stress. Two major events at church that we were responsible for, more bad news and problems there, which are inexplicably more difficult to handle than most things, a hospital visit for medical tests for me and an interview with Grace's college tutor and Principle.

Stress makes me tired. When I'm tired I cry. I guess that's what it was.

I got the All Clear from the ultrasound which was to screen me for Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm. While they were at it, they took a good look around my innards and pronounced them super healthy, measuring and taking pictures of my liver, kidneys and other bits of offal for posterity. I ALMOST asked for copies to post at my blog, but thought better of it, just in time. That request might have earned me a, frankly well overdue, visit to the Psych ward.

Ridiculously, I'd scheduled a V. Important Meeting at Grace's ASD FE unit the same day. We grabbed a quick lunch, high fat in celebration of my not being dead yet, and dashed across the city. Interestingly, we got lost and drove right past the entrance to the county mental hospital, where I almost checked myself in. {g}

It was a good meeting and they are delighted by Grace, but every time we go there we are hit smack in the face with the reality of Grace's condition, its seriousness and its permanence. It was an emotional day. When we got home we had to act all cheerful in front of the kids too and then Jamie, the rat, went off to work the night shift and keft me alone to cry in secret as I washed the dishes.

Grace had to be somewhere that evening and I just didn't know how to drag myself out to drive her there and back. I phoned a friend to ask her if she would mind picking her up for me as she was going and I was exhausted. She said no. She was busy. Fair enough. She said it nicely. She's obviously good at saying no. I wish I was.{g}Yesterday was similar. Me crying on the bed, asking God to help me not be such a wimp, listening to Natalie Grant's This is What it Means to be Held.

But I bounced back up again this morning, my prayers answered. I feel like I'm running a marathon in sprint mode. I need to learn to slow down and jog a little.